February seems to be a month of many gremlins this
year. One of the worst gremlins to grapple with is
negative self-talk. The good news is that we can
learn to manage it. This month, I want to share with
you an article by Emmanuel Segui, which will give you
the tools to harness this gremlin. May you feel much
freer by spring!
4 Steps to Transforming your Negative Self-
talk into an Inner Coach.
by Emmanuel Segui
Your thoughts have a powerful effect on you.
They
affect your
attitude, your physiology, and your motivation to
act.
Your
negative thoughts actually control your behavior.
They can make
you stutter, spill things, forget your lines or breathe
shallowly.
Research indicates that the average person talks
to
himself or
herself about 50,000 times a day. According to
psychological
researchers, it is 80% negative; things such as I
shouldn't have
said that or They don't like me or I don't like the way
my
hair looks today or I can't dance or I'll never be a
good
skater or
I'm not a speaker or I'll never lose this weight or I
can't
ever
seem to get organized or I'm always late.
We also know from lie-detector tests that your
body
reacts to
your thoughts. These physiological changes, such as
heart rate
and breathing rate, occur when you're lying but also
in reaction
to every thought you think. Every cell in your body is
affected
by every thought you have.
Negative thoughts affects your body negatively,
weakening you.
Positive thoughts affect your body in a positive way,
making you
more relaxed, centered and alert. It is your job to
control and
master your thoughts. You are 100% responsible.
But there is a core principle you need to
understand
about self-
criticism and self-judgment: It is always motivated
by
love and
has always some positive intention or positive goal
attached to
it. Now, this positive intention doesn't show
immediately. It
needs some reflection at first. But with some
practice, like
everything else, it comes within seconds and here
comes the
change.
Here are four steps you will need to take to
master
your
thoughts and to transform your inner critic into an
inner coach.
1. It's Time to Step Back
The first step of any strategy to change your
emotions or
personal history is to step back and reflect on what
is going on
inside of you. It is as if you were stepping back from
your
thinking and were looking at it. By doing this you go
to a
higher psychological level where change can take
place. As
Albert Einstein said,"The significant problems we face
cannot be
solved by the same level of thinking that created
them."
2. Look for the positive intention.
One of the most magnificent beauties of the human
mind is self-
reflexivity. This means that you not only think about
an event,
but you think about what you just thought about
that specific
event. It's like layers of thoughts that are formed at
the back
of your mind in a fraction of a second. Now, you can
peel away
the layers and discover the positive intention of that
negative
thought by asking yourself the following
question: "What is the
good or the positive intention of that part of me that
just
thought x" or "What does that part of me that just
thought x
want that is good for me". Were you able to find it?
3. Feel how your emotions are changing.
When you find that positive intention, you discover a
whole new
part of you. The part that wants you to be better,
to
feel
better and to be everything you're capable of. That
way, your
self-esteem increases, you have more confidence in
yourself, you
trust yourself more and you achieve more.
4. Thank yourself for caring about
you.
Now, you're going to play the appreciation game and
that is to
thank yourself for the beautiful human being you are.
Because
you understand your unique value, your importance
in
the world,
you can more quickly and more easily go for your
dreams and live
a more prosperous life.
Negative thoughts happen to everybody. The
difference between a
successful person and another is just that he or she
has learned
how to master his thoughts and emotions. With
these
four little
but powerful steps, you can beat your negative
thoughts and
therefore your negative emotions. You will radiate
more energy
to accomplish your goals and you will function more
efficiently.
© 2006 Emmanuel SEGUI - All rights reserved
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